Christmas Pajamas for Kids & A Little Deep Down Me

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Y'all. I can't tell you how surreal it was for me to direct this photo shoot for Haute Smocks. It has been a dream of mine since college to someday own a children's clothing boutique. In this season of my life, with a toddler and other personal things going on, it would be impossible to run a brick and mortar store, but I am loving my internet business!

Two years ago, when I was pregnant, and again last year I tried to buy kids matching Christmas pajamas for Georgia and my niece  I kept getting "outbid" both times, so the Haute Smocks Christmas pajamas for kids were actually the very first thing I started working on with my manufacturer. Poor Georgia - she is going to be wearing these things Christmas morning until she is at least six or seven!

Watching a professional photographer photograph my child wearing something that I had a hand in making just made my heart sing!

Right now I am staying busy enough with Haute Smocks to keep it fun. I'm not bombarded or overwhelmed and it's growing slowly. Some days I wish that the Haute Smocks Facebook page would go viral, then I get an influx of website orders and realize how much I want my business to grow slowly so I can grow and learn with it!

Another Fall Design

My friend Melissa's boutique Grace & Lace blew up overnight and she had to hire like six people to help her out! I know there are growing pains involved, and I know I don't want to be hit with those just yet.

Anyhow, I don't often share what's really on my heart and mind on my blog - it's really hard to just put it all out there when both strangers and people you know might judge you or think differently of you for your real thoughts and feelings. Being judged on surface, superficial things doesn't bother me because I know it's not really the "deep down me". I like sharing the deep down me, but I'm always afraid of criticism.

So today you're getting a little deep down me. I finally, for one of the first times in my life, did something that I wanted to do. Not something everyone else thought I should do (hello CPA exam!), not something to make others happy (hello litany of pretty much everything until my mid-20s), and not something I'm doing just because it's the next step in life (hello crappy jobs that I didn't like).

And I am so afraid of failing! I typically avoid anything I might fail at. It's why I took so long to take my CPA exam and why I didn't compete in sports as a kid. I'm too much of a perfectionist to do something that might not work out and too much of a people pleaser to do something that truly makes me happy even though it might cause me to fail.

But here I am, happy as a clam in an office with several boxes of dresses and and a big shipment to put in the mail today. It might work out and it might not - but I'll never know unless I take that chance and risk failing.