My Space in Time

I've been plagued with awful insomnia.  I can be dead tired at 8 p.m., go to bed at 9 and stay awake for hours with my mind racing.  The other night I got up and turned on the computer.  For some odd, unknown reason, I googled my old email address.  Like, my very first email address ever.  It was on Rocketmail, which doesn't even exist anymore!

The first thing that popped up was something I had totally forgotten about - a website I created when I was 15 or 16 years old!  The first thing that hit me was that it was all, totally 100% hand-coded.  I wrote it in Notepad.  It was fancy, too - multiple colors, tables, graphics, and one graphic with a clickable map (various parts of one photo represented various links).  It had a few photo album pages and a mini-blog.  I couldn't do something like that now if my life depended on it! I'm so used to Blogger and other what-you-see-is-what-you-get editing programs.

I had a really good laugh as I read through the pages.  Some of the things that I had listed on my "list of favorites" was hilarious and, I'll admit, a little embarrassing.  Some of the memories were bittersweet.  At the time, they were things I never thought I'd forget.  Now I'm glad I have a written memory and some photos to go along with them.

There was a page dedicated to my boyfriend at the time, as well as a page of photos of him and another of prom.  We dated in high school, some in college, and haven't spoken since I broke off an engagement with him.  I heard that he's married now and I wonder what he would think if he knew there were a few pages on the internet dedicated to his teenage self?  There was a list of our songs that made me nostalgic.  When someone fills a big part of your life at such a formative time, it's really sad when you can't keep in touch over the years.

In those days, I remember thinking high school would never end and college couldn't come fast enough for me.  Now that I have a ten month old, I see how fast time truly flies by and I don't wish any of my days away.

I wonder what our next phase of technology will be?  When Georgia is in high school, will she have a whole television station where she can save her thoughts and ramblings for future viewing?  In fifteen years will I look back at Haute Mommy Blog and laugh about the things I wrote or that were important to me?  At any rate, I'm glad to have a small part of my life, which seemed so big at the time, that I can look back on and smile.

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