As of last Thursday, September 22, I am officially a stay at home mom. It was a very easy decision to make, but a little tougher to follow through and actually hand in my resignation.
I think David and I first talked about me being a stay at home parent before we were even married. At any rate, I knew that this would be my new job even before we talked about having children. It sounded fun and glamorous! Obviously, I wasn't really factoring in the actual work it takes to raise a child and keep the household running.
I was off work for over a month before Georgia was born, and the last four months have flown by. I really didn't give a second thought to my job, until HR called to confirm my date back in the office. I believe they called on Thursday or Friday and I confirmed that I'd be back the following Wednesday.
The next few days were the most miserable of my life...and that includes being super pregnant in 90 degree weather! I knew that I didn't want to go back to work, but I knew it would be very difficult to just walk away and leave my career behind. My career that I've worked the past eight years to build...nevermind that I spent 18 months constantly studying for and passing the CPA exam.
But I knew deep down that being a working mom wasn't for me. I would truly have to split my time between work and home, and I knew that in the end my family would be on the losing end of my decision. I was at the point in my career with my company when I needed to either step up or step down. I got a promotion right before maternity leave, which made me know that much more (dedication, time and effort) would be expected from me when I returned.
So I fretted, cried and prayed for three days. I went back for one full day and my stomach turned every time I thought about telling my bosses that it was my last day. They gave me my annual letter, which is a letter detailing a raise I received while I was out and my bonus for next year. My stomach turned at the thought of walking away from that much money. But then my heart ached when I thought of missing Georgia's first step, her first word, and the thought that someone else would be feeding her pureed peas for lunch pretty soon.
In the end, I am one hundred percent sure of my decision. Georgia validates that every morning when she wakes up with a big smile on her face that's only for me. But I would be leaving out a big chunk of how this decision feels if I didn't tell you that I feel much more pressure now, and that the thought of not having real time off or away from my job is daunting. I put much more pressure on myself now because raising my family is my only job...if my children turn out to be social deviants I will fault myself; in my previous life as a career-girl, there were checks in place to make sure I didn't send anyone to jail! I'm also the mom, 24/7, year round, no paid vacation. In my previous life, if I needed a break, I simply booked a few days off or hit the spa on the weekend. Now, even if I'm able to get away, I know I'll miss and think about little Sweet Potato and never have an actual break from it.
In all honesty, I really wish I'd written this post last week when thoughts and worries were running through my head a-mile-a-minute. I had several versions of it in my head, but today when I sat down to write...well, all is right with the world and none of the stress and angst are there to be put down on paper (computer screen).
For any stay at home moms who read my blog...how do you maintain a work-life balance when your life is your work? My husband works at a very mentally exhausting job about 60 hours each week...it doesn't seem fair for me to pass off a grouchy or hungry baby as soon as he walks in the door just so I can have a break...how do you get your little breaks in? She's too young for mothers day out right now, but she's also not an infant anymore, so she's awake much more than she's asleep during the day, which means I'm tasked with teaching and entertaining her quite a bit!
Monday, September 26, 2011
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)






17 comments:
I'm so glad I found your blog! I am now a stay-at-home mom with a newborn, I'm struggling a bit with my new role. My only advice thus far is to take a few minutes each day for just you, I always make time for a nice shower!
It sounds backwards but take advantage of nap times to have some time to yourself. It's so hard to find "me" these days :) Congrats on your decision!!!!
I'll try not to go on and on, but just know that every day will be different and it will definitely take some time for all of you as a family to figure out what is best! I've been at home for 2.5 years now and I can honestly say my hubs and I are probably just now figuring out what works best for us, and life is good! He works a crazy schedule too. We have learned that we each need our own "me" time and also need to schedule family time and time just together. Shoot me an email if you ever need some extra encouragement :-)
I can so relate! I'll be quitting my job in a couple of weeks to stay home with my son for a while. I was off for 4 months on maternity leave, and it was hard to balance. The best thing I found was to actually have a solid routine, meaning I would set my alarm for an hour or 2 earlier than when my baby would wake, that way I could get dressed and do whatever I know I needed to do for the day.
Congrats on your decision! It sounds like you made the right choice for your family. I am a full-time working mom so I can't help out on the advice front. But I hope you will keep us posted!
Congrats on your decision! I have been a stay at home mom for 3 1/2 years now and love it! You will fall into a routine that works for you and your family. It just takes time! Enjoy your time with her as a baby and, although everyone says to rest during nap time, I have found that I get more out of that time by doing things I love - window shopping on the internet, reading a good book or magazines, chatting on the phone with friends and family, etc. Having a little time to do the things you love will make you happier, which in turn will make your husband and baby happier! My husband works long hours and has a stressful job, so even though he may come home a little later than I'd like sometimes, I just try to remember that if it were up to him, he'd be home with us, but also that the reason why I am able to stay home with my kids is because of his strong work ethic. Best of luck to you!
Melissa R.
Why not pick up a few clients and work during tax season? My neighbor has two small children and is a CPA. She is able to make a nice chunk of money without having to work every day.
Congrats on your big decision! I have been home for years now and there have been many ups and downs along the way but it has all been worth it. Ultimately, connecting with other SAHMs is key as well as having some babysitters on hand to help out. My hubby works long hours and travels quite a bit so I have found a network of women to rely on. Also, if you need a break ask for help...everyone needs one now and again.
Heidi
I have a little boy who is 6 and 1/2 months old. I do feel bad sometimes wanting my husband who has worked hard all day to take care of the baby when he gets home. So I don't force him, but if he offers to help I let him. We have made bath time a Daddy thing. This gives my little boy and his Daddy something special they do together. My husband looks forward to it. And, it gives me a little break. I also still work occasionally. I am a pharmacist and will work maybe 5-10 hours a week. During those times my husband stays home with our little boy. I am lucky in that my son takes several naps a day. During those time I enjoy the quiet and do things I enjoy. I do my cleaning when the baby is up and just let him play, so that I can do things like blogging when he is asleep. I try to make a list of a few things to do each day as far as cleaning and laundry. Then I check those things off. I am sure you will enjoy being a stay-at-home mom too. And like you said- the best reward is seeing that smiling face :)
I
Shoot! Totally screwed up that comment! Ha!
I am really excited for you! :)
It's a rewarding job. I kind of want to call you right now to discuss work/life balance. Haha! :)
I'm a new Stay at home mom too, and as much as I craved this time (I was working for a year), it's HARD! Like you said, no time away, your job is 24/7. You will get into a groove. Make time for exercise-that has really saved me! Plus, daddy keeps the baby on Monday mornings so momma can sleep in! Good luck!
Congratulations on your decision - its never easy to walk away from something you spent years building, but the key is that you are at peace and sure of yourself! I work on a reduced work schedule, and most days its a good mix for me - this is such a personal (and hot!) topic for us women, I don't think there's a one size fits all... you and your little miss will find your groove and pretty soon it will be your new normal. Enjoy every minute of babyhood, it goes back SOOOO fast :-)
I've been reading for a bit, but this post begged me to answer: first, though I doubt you do, don't underestimate the difficulty of being a SAHM! You're putting in way more than 60 hours a week, and I have to keep reminding myself that all the time - what we are doing IS hard and exhausting. As an attorney, I worked 50+ hour weeks right until delivery, and I can say with confidence that being a SAHM is as much work...and certainly more exhausting. Don't underestimate your husband - parenting is rewarding and he may like (and certainly look back on with fondness) the time and effort he helped put in with G, no matter how tired he may have been at that time. My husband works like a mad man for himself to provide for our family, but does bedtime with our LO every night. It's his time to spend and bond with her, and while I miss it and steal her for bedtime now and again, I also enjoy taking that 30-45 mins to relax each night. I also call on my mom or sister to watch Caitlin while I run errands for an afternoon. And I keep a good amount of my daytime social life going - I'll meet girlfriends for lunch or coffee or visit at homes - and Caitlin goes with me. I get out to see my friends, and they (all without children) are so excited to hold and play with her, it gives me a bit of a break even though she's still with me. Or, Caitlin and I will go for long walks as much for me as for her; now that she's graduated to the toddler seat she can't get enough of looking around as we walk to get coffee, do some (window) shopping. Oh - I also don't feel guilty, nor does my husband question it, if the floors don't get washed 'on time' or the laundry is slow, etc., in exchange for me doing something with Caitlin...because that's the point! :-)
May Mom chris.n.christine
I think if your able to plan a daddy/daughter day for your husband it would be a great way for them to build a stronger bond and for you to have own time. My husband always give B a bath and puts him to bed, so that gives me time to do whatever I need to at night. You really have to make a little time for yourself or you'll feel overwhelmed. I hope you enjoy life as a SAHM as much as I do!
I would love for you to check out my blog, I have a little 7 month old baby boy!
Congratulations again! I'm just so very happy for you.
There are some great suggestions here in your comments re: maintaining balance; it's so true that the mom thing is a 24-hour job versus our old office jobs, so it's essential to get some breaks in. I can also relate to not wanting to pass off baby to your husband the minute he walks in from his also long, also stressful job (though of course our husbands love the baby time when they get it).
What works for me is taking naptime - for us, that's now down to one mid-day nap per day - to try and get some "me" downtime in, like for blogging and reading (ie, what I'm doing right now!). I'm able to get most of the housework done now while MP is awake, which helps a lot with that; he actually enjoys "helping" now, so I don't feel like that is time away from him. Also, I know we've talked about the Mom's Day Out thing, but do you have family or a sitter you would trust Georgia with for a date night and/or morning to yourself each week?
I'm so excited for you! You're already so good at it.
Post a Comment