For My Child

I knew you even before you were conceived.  (Jeremiah 1:4-5)

I chose you when I planned creation. (Ephesians 1:11-12)

You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book. (Psalm 139:15-16)

I pray every single day that, if I should fail at everything in raising Georgia, God will help me to raise her to know that she is loved by God and her momma & that God has a plan for her life.  I pray she grows to love Him and that He uses her to do great things.

Sometimes when I see a butterfly or a certain flower blooming in our yard, I get a feeling of melancholy thinking about the baby we lost last year. I now know without a doubt that baby was given to me, if only for a short space in time, so that I would appreciate every single second of my pregnancy and know what a miracle a healthy baby truly is.

There were some really worrisome days and weeks during my pregnancy, and David and I spent many nights praying together. I don't remember praying much that everything would be OK, I mostly remember thanking God for the time he gave us with Georgia, for every day was a blessing to us.

I didn't blog about my miscarriage at all, and I wasn't comfortable even talking about it until I had Georgia. It was truly the worst part of my life and I didn't want to remember it at all.  I decided to post my thoughts today, though, because it did shape my pregnancy, my thoughts about motherhood, and the kind of mother I am. 

I pray that anyone going through a miscarriage or troublesome pregnancy finds comfort in the verses above, as I did last summer.  God has a reason for everything and everyone, even a tiny baby you  may never meet.