Maybe I'm Not So Medium Maintenance

Much to David’s eye-rolling chagrin (and quite possibly the chagrin of several other folks…) I have always referred to myself as “medium maintenance.” I’m not low maintenance because there are certain places I refuse to eat, certain products that I require in my suitcase for any trip, and I won’t leave the house in a tshirt and yoga pants (unless I’m headed to yoga, obviously). But I’m certainly not high maintenance either – I can get ready for a black tie event in an hour (that includes shower and sometimes a face masque), I occasionally go camping, and I (no longer) get weekly manicures.

But every time I go to Starbucks (at least weekly, rather than daily, since I downgraded from “high” to “medium” maintenance), I really can’t help but feel just a teeny bit extremely-high-maintenance. My usual order is a tall non fat two Splenda latte. Today while waiting in line I decided I needed more sustenance than my usual drink provides. I practiced saying my new drink over and over in my head until it was my turn to order, just because the order is so long. (Does anyone else do that?) But good grief, I sounded like a real Miss Priss when the barista announced that my order was ready. I was a bit embarrassed to go pick it up from the counter, even in the land of triple no whip drinks.

I also hate being *that person* at business lunches so I typically order water. Earlier this week I needed some caffeine and the restaurant where we dined did not have the sugar/sweetener packets on the table. Unless I’m drinking a properly made sweet tea (sugar is added while the tea is hot) I prefer Splenda, the drink is gritty if plain sugar is added later. I quietly asked the waiter if Splenda was available, and he made some joke asking if that’s what I was having for lunch. Oh har, har, everyone laughed and made jokes about picky women. So I didn’t ask him to hold the bleu cheese and boiled egg yolks from my salad.
Venti-non-fat-iced-four-Splenda-latte, anyone? It’s my new embarrassingly long drink order